An Untitled Mess

*Stands from plastic fold-out chair* *Clears throat nervously* *Fidgets with hands while staring at feet* Hello, my name is Dan, and I'm a pyromaniac.  Whew, there, I said it.  Boy, I really do feel better now.  A lot better...like, so much better that I really want to go blow something up! This is my first Independence Day that I've gotten to celebrate in ten years.  My luck, I'll probably have to work that night.  I'm usually off on Tuesdays so there is a slight chance that I will not have to work.  Anyways, I did like any normal American male would do...I stopped by one of those big white tents and purchased some cardboard tubes filled with pretty colored gun powder. See that look on my face?  That's the look of pure joy.  Honestly, the tent I got the fireworks from was a non-profit who was selling the fireworks as a fund raiser.  Oh, and I was literally their first sale, so that was awesome.  Not only did I get to purchase ...