An Untitled Mess

So, Wednesday night I woke up just hurting.  I didn't want to believe that it was anything more than something a few Tums could handle.  Typical guy thinking there.  Two hours after chewing on a few Tums, I wake up again, this time feeling way worse.  So I did what any sensible guy would do...I made myself throw up.  That's right, the 'ole finger down the throat trick.  Well, I wasn't ready for what happened next.  Everything from dinner starting coming back up.  Everything.  And not the easy way, oh no, it had to start coming out of my nose too.  I heaved for a good five minutes and for a second wondered if what I had just done was actually a good idea.  When it finally subsided, my stomach felt better but my body felt like crap.  Oh, and I had ran four miles right before dinner too so that didn't help matters.  When I thought I was in the clear, the unthinkable happened.  I pooped my pants.  That's right, I'm m...