An Untitled Mess

Spring 2004 - Washington Monument Not much has been going on, just little busy things.  I know it's been nearly a week since my last post.  Motivation level has not been too high lately.  Honestly, I've been super stressed and the sad part is that the stress is a direct result of other people's actions and not really anything that I did myself. Therapy and group has actually helped me so much the last few weeks.  Sometimes I feel like I have no one I can talk to who really understands my situation and where I'm coming from and who will listen without judging me.  I get that at group and it's been a godsend lately.  I bet you're probably thinking, "What kind of a person admits to going to therapy?"  Hey, whatever.  There are more important things in life than worrying about what someone else thinks about you and trying to keep your pride and this imaginary "perfect image" for everyone.  We all need help and we all need someone to talk to...

It's been a crazy week for me.  I've been meaning to write, and I've had several things I wanted to post about, but I've not gotten the time to do it.  Hopefully I can get a lot of it in tonight before I pass out. My brother came into town on Tuesday from Tennessee.  It's been pretty awesome to see him and spend some time with him this week.  Our family has our condo on the beach through the end of the week so he's set up camp out there.  I've been out to chill with him a few days and just relax and walk the beach.  It's been really nice.  It's amazing how much that place has changed since the last time I was out there in 2007.  A few of the buildings were condemned a couple of years ago and have since been torn down.  The entire place looks unrecognizable and the impact that just those few buildings had is noticeable.  It's hard to believe that they had so many units in such a small area.  We have spent every summer out there sin...

It's another Throw Back Thursday, and I plugged in the old hard drive to dig through some old stuff.  I use to have a blog in college and even though I did not write all that much on it, the things I did record I cherish.  I honestly do not remember some of the stuff I did but there is a written history of it, and I think that's pretty cool...a little scary, but really cool too. Nothing much happened today.  I hit the gym later in the afternoon to blow off some steam and then on to work where it really wasn't all that busy.  Still working on a few sewing projects and I really need to get my other pair of gym pants finished.  I spoke with DAB briefly tonight but I really want to get this post up and then get to bed.  He is up in Pennsylvania for the next few weeks visiting family.  He did not seem very happy with me when I told him I couldn't talk.  Story of my life...just seems like all my friends are mad at me these days. Enjoy the throwback ...

It's Sunday and I know I've not posted lately.  I'm instituting some changes, putting some lines back down, trying to get off this path I'm on.  It's a dead end so honestly, what's the point?  I'm missing out on life just sitting here waiting on the sidelines so...change.  How am I going to do that, what am I going to change?  I have no idea and if I'm honest with myself, I don't really want to do it.  I don't want to change anything.  But like all progress in life, it's not going to be easy or comfortable or enjoyable.  It's just necessary. The first thing I need to do is institute some boundaries between me and a few people.  I've allowed myself to get drawn into things that I wasn't really comfortable with and now I sort of feel trapped.  When you start erasing the lines you set for yourself, it's an uphill battle to gain that ground back.  Feelings are going to get hurt, but it just has to be done.  If these people are f...

If you recognize the title of this post, then you're a nerd.  But that's cool because I'm a nerd also and we can share in our nerdness while everyone else is scratching their heads as they pull up a Google search.  Of course they would use Google, if they knew what the title meant, they would probably be using DuckDuckGo for searches. I run Linux, specifically Ubuntu Linux.  I'm no master at it, and most of the time I have no idea what I'm doing as I search message boards and documentation trying to figure things out.  However, I bought a cheap computer that suits my current needs and quite honestly could not afford to put Windows on it.  So, this free, open source Linux distribution was the obvious choice.  It is a pain in the butt some days, but it pretty much does everything a Windows box can do and I've yet to spend a penny on any sort of software.  Email, Net, calendars, spread sheets, word documents and everything else, it handles quite nicely...

Here is a little something for Throw Back Thursday March 5, 2008 - Kodak Gold 200 film Asleep at the Spool I want to type tonight, I really do.  I've actually sat here for over an hour just thinking about whether or not I should type.  Being ignored by someone you adore is not easy.  Being called a Jack Hole is not easy.  That's what someone called me, and it stung.  Usually that would make me violently angry, but she didn't know what that meant so I shouldn't be angry about it.  But being hurt over it, that I can't help. Today, she ignored me.  No messages about blogging or asking me if I was going to type, she posted and didn't even say, no reply to the one text I sent her today of some brand new baby bunnies that were just born.  Complete silence.  Over what, because I upset her by parking in two spaces at work?  For apologizing about it?  Because she wrote something to sucker punch me knowing full well that I would rea...

 Here's how the first hour of my morning went... I guess Blogger won't let me upload a video...lame.  Here is a link for it then: Dunkin Donuts Fiasco Maybe this will be a new thing for me...part blog...part vlog?  I don't know...verbally stone me in the comments section if you would like to have a say in this. Work was a busy and boring day.  There was just a ton of stuff to do for this huge catering order we have for tomorrow.  We had to cut 250 chicken breasts, cook 13 cans of green beans, 250 chocolate chip cookies, 6 pounds of mashed potatoes.  We had all of that to do and we still had to do the prep work for the restaurant too so I was there a little past what I usually am. Morgan and Bumpers were not at work this morning, and I have to be honest...that sucked.  Morgan is my karaoke partner.  I swear, I can think of a song that I know for sure that he doesn't know the words to and sure enough, he can sing it better th...

I literally don't have anything to say tonight but I need to keep the streak alive.  A friend suggested that I write my thoughts and feelings.  *scoff*  I'm a man.  Manly men such as myself don't have feelings (this is the part where you forget about the last two blog posts).  I did experience a little envy today, but it didn't last very long.  Want to know what it was?  Some friends of mine were going to the beach and I can't go.  Boy, that sounds petty. My neighbor is remodeling his kitchen and needed my help moving a piece of granite this morning.  The inside looks amazing since the last time I saw it two weeks ago.  Then after lunch, mom needed my help getting Caramel the calf into the horse trailer.  She drove him to the vets to get castrated.  If I would have known that, I would have set him free instead of load him into the vehicle that would carry him to the snippers.  I hope he is still my friend after all of th...