I punched a stainless steel door tonight. Not just a tap or a reserved hit, I really punched it. The other guy standing there just looked at me all crazy. Of course the door won, I didn't even dent it and for a second, I seriously thought i broke my hand. That's how hard I punched it. It was over an hour before it stopped throbbing. It felt good to punch that door. I'm glad it wasn't a person, but I had to just get it out.
I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I'm tired. I'm confused. I feel like a friggin idiot. I feel just...stupid. Have you ever wanted something so much that it just hurt you on the inside more and more every day that you didn't have it? Like that Ninja Turtle lunch box or that life-sized My Little Pony with the purple mane and tail? Of course those things never caused that sort of deep longing...not really. But what about wanting very badly to be in a relationship? Ever experienced that?
I'm going through that now. This is why I'm confused. I thought that someone liked me, but it appears that they do not. This is why I'm frustrated. I try to be a friend, to talk and support and to encourage, but they won't let me. This is why I'm tired. I'm trying to force something on someone who obviously shows no interest in it. This is why I'm angry. Because people keep getting in my business and can't just leave me alone. We are not friends, we do not speak and never will, but yet they insist on sticking their nose in my affairs. This is why I feel stupid. Because I went out on a limb, told someone I liked them, and now...well, I don't know. That's why I feel stupid. How do you interpret a non-answer? It's easy when they say, "Hey, I don't like you like that, let's just stay friends" or when they say, "I really like you a lot too..." but I didn't get either of the two answers. It's not complicated...how does someone need time to think about it? So now I feel very stupid and insecure.
Okay, so there is your gossip for the upcoming week. Go forth and spread the whispers.
I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I'm tired. I'm confused. I feel like a friggin idiot. I feel just...stupid. Have you ever wanted something so much that it just hurt you on the inside more and more every day that you didn't have it? Like that Ninja Turtle lunch box or that life-sized My Little Pony with the purple mane and tail? Of course those things never caused that sort of deep longing...not really. But what about wanting very badly to be in a relationship? Ever experienced that?
I'm going through that now. This is why I'm confused. I thought that someone liked me, but it appears that they do not. This is why I'm frustrated. I try to be a friend, to talk and support and to encourage, but they won't let me. This is why I'm tired. I'm trying to force something on someone who obviously shows no interest in it. This is why I'm angry. Because people keep getting in my business and can't just leave me alone. We are not friends, we do not speak and never will, but yet they insist on sticking their nose in my affairs. This is why I feel stupid. Because I went out on a limb, told someone I liked them, and now...well, I don't know. That's why I feel stupid. How do you interpret a non-answer? It's easy when they say, "Hey, I don't like you like that, let's just stay friends" or when they say, "I really like you a lot too..." but I didn't get either of the two answers. It's not complicated...how does someone need time to think about it? So now I feel very stupid and insecure.Okay, so there is your gossip for the upcoming week. Go forth and spread the whispers.
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