Why Did I Even Post This?

Here is a little something for Throw Back Thursday

March 5, 2008 - Kodak Gold 200 film

Asleep at the Spool

I want to type tonight, I really do.  I've actually sat here for over an hour just thinking about whether or not I should type.  Being ignored by someone you adore is not easy.  Being called a Jack Hole is not easy.  That's what someone called me, and it stung.  Usually that would make me violently angry, but she didn't know what that meant so I shouldn't be angry about it.  But being hurt over it, that I can't help.

Today, she ignored me.  No messages about blogging or asking me if I was going to type, she posted and didn't even say, no reply to the one text I sent her today of some brand new baby bunnies that were just born.  Complete silence.  Over what, because I upset her by parking in two spaces at work?  For apologizing about it?  Because she wrote something to sucker punch me knowing full well that I would read it and it worked?

I've been learning about how not to twist things with words to make myself out to be the victim in situations.  Yesterday, I apologized to her for making her angry.  I never wanted to make her mad.  I didn't pull into work thinking, "Oh, how can I just piss her off today.  I want her to be so mad that she never wants to talk to me again."  The parking thing was a joke that I thought we were both in on, but evidently I'm the only one sailing that ship.  She got mad, I apologized sincerely and now I get the silent treatment.

Story of my life.