How to Make Someone Mad

Step one: Tell them the truth.

That's it, that's a comprehensive guide to pissing people off.  Tell them the truth.  Never thought it was so simple, eh?  No need to hatch a master plan or set up a series of triggering events.  You don't even have to get on the Facey Book thing and post a comment, unless that comment is the truth, then that might work.  Come on, it makes perfect sense.

For instance, have you ever told a mother that her precious little angel is actually the devil incarnate?  That kid could be pure evil, a little terrorist in the making and it would absolutely just piss the mother off.  There's no WAY that little Johnny would ever hurt a fly.  Yeah, but he was trying to set my cat on fire.  Oh, he was just expressing himself.  No, he shot me the bird and told me to die as he was chasing me with a pair of scissors.  Your child needs to be evaluated.  If you've never been in a situation like that, then lucky for you.  For the rest of us...how did the truth work out for you there?

Another example.  Hey honey, do you like this dress?  Come on, classic trap!  The truth is, you're not a fan of the dress, or in reality, and this applies to almost every man, you just really don't care what dress she wears.  Do not utter these words.  This truthful confession will undoubtedly land you in serious hot water.  So, we do like we are programmed to do, we lie and say we like the dress, that it looks marvelous.

For those super political or super religious (or super un-religious), the truth can start some very heated arguments.  Not intelligent debates and exchanging of ideas and opinions...I'm talking about shouting matches and threats to life and limb.  Ever tell an atheist that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life?  Not only will the atheist get angry, by the time you're done arguing with him, you'll be angry too.  Anyone catch the anger that was the face of this past presidential election?

Those are just a few examples, but if you sit and ponder enough about it, you'll see that this simple rule is amazingly accurate.  We tell lies all the time just to placate people.  Ever have someone ask you, "How has your day been?" and despite having your car repossessed, your dog dying and your grandma losing her vision, you still tell them, "It was pretty good."?  We all do it.  Every day we lie to each other, to friends, family and strangers alike. 

It's like we all just WANT to be lied to.  You know why?  Because it's safe.  It doesn't change anything about our day.  We don't have to explain our feelings to someone, or listen to someone tell us about their bad day.  It means that we can keep pretending like everything is FREAKIN' AWESOME!  That's why we get mad when someone tells us the truth.  It pops our perfect little bubble of complacency.  It means our life is about to get more complicated, that we might have to face an issue head-on instead of wiping it under the rug with the rest of our issues.

I'm writing this post because I told someone the truth today, and they got mad.  They are gonna say, "Oh, I'm not mad" but they are.  But that point is moot.  When you like somebody, really like them, you need to tell them that.  If they say that they don't like you back, that's okay.  But you have to let go and move on.  If it's a friend, that doesn't mean a friendship has to end, but it might mean the dynamics of that friendship may need altering.  That's a big, responsible decision for someone to make, because it will pop that little bubble of complacency and that's scary. 

I can't watch my life drift by sitting on the sidelines hoping for a chance to shoot the winning basket.  That's a hard decision for me, because I also like my little bubble of safety, but I have to make that call.  Sticking to sports, LaBron left Cleveland to go to Miami to chase after championships.  He LOVED Cleveland, it was his home, but he couldn't wait on the sidelines any longer.  That was a very hard call to make, and he was criticized for it.  It made people mad.  But you know what?  He came back to the city that he loved, the anger faded and he was stronger for it.

Thanks for listening to the babbling of an idiot.  I hope it helps in some way.  Later Days.