Two Halves

It's a What Up Wednesday!  I was in a spunky mood this morning.  Getting to bed a little early will do that for a guy.  In case you missed it, I just gave you my excuse for not posting yesterday...if you still missed it, I will whisper it in your ear (I fell asleep early and did not type).

So this morning, being so full of energy and being in a generally good mood (I did help to save a baby alpaca the other day), I decided to play a little joke on Bumpers.  Here is a little back story.  I totally started working at the restaurant before she was even in kindergarten (I know, I'm old as a Moses fart).  However, I have not worked there since like 2007 so evidently my old parking spot is forfeit.  It just so happens that my old parking spot is Bumper's current parking spot.  On one of my first nights back to work a few months ago, I parked in what I believed to be my parking spot.  It was claimed decades ago...I even urinated in it to mark it as my personal property ala-canine style.

Sadly, Bumpers did not know that she had started parking in my spot and somehow, she missed my scent which is still clearly marking that slab of concrete.  So she comes into work one night, with my vehicle in "her spot" and she flips out.  This was the first of a multitude of physical and emotional attacks on me over a spot that she erroneously thought was "hers".  Being the nice guy that I am, and since she had already given me a nose bleed and was working my kidneys something decent, I relented and told her that I would never park in "her spot" again.

Today, I had enough.  The truce is over.  The treaty is null and void.  Read my lips sister.  That's MY SPOT and if you wanna arm wrestle, thumb wrestle, calf wrestle, or have a crab-walk relay for that spot, then bring it.   BRING.  IT.  Today was just the tip of the iceberg and I will not stop until I have my spot back.  I demand that you immediately cease and diciest all acts of trespassing and slanderous speak of how my spot is actually "your spot".

Can you believe she actually accused me of parking in TWO parking spaces?  I'm clearly parked in two separate halves of a parking spot.  Let's do the math people - 1/2 + 1/2 = 2/2 = 1 (ah, ah, ah!)  Any way you slice it, I'm only in ONE parking spot.  She obviously has a bright future ahead of her at any of the fine UNC System schools in our state.

So as you can see, I had a great day today.  Bumpers was totally mad at me and did not speak to me all day.  Couldn't help but notice that every time she looked at me she would crack a smile and then turn away quickly so she could paint her world-famous scowl back on.  That's just the price you pay when you are as awesome as I am.

Oh, I got a hair cut yesterday too.

Before

After

The cable was out this evening so dad, mom and I watched the 1994 Disney classic Blank Check on Netflix.  Still as awesome as when I was 8 years old.

Now, I'm posting this super-sweet blog and I'm gonna get some things organized before turning in early again tonight.  The idea is to get up and go for a run in the morning.  We'll see how that goes.  Might look into a gym membership too (no, not where you go, it's way too far away...and I'm totally not telling you where because you will probably want to stalk me).  I'm not huge into gyms but I need to get back into some light working out.  Later Days!