Holy crap, so look, you have got to help me with this. On my way out to work this morning, I spotted a box of Everlasting Gobstoppers (R). So I filched them, naturally. It's awesome because the box fit perfectly into one of my nine pockets on my work pants. Why does one need so many dang pockets? you may ask. Well, because I have stuff that I hold. Wallet, cell phone, car keys, pocket knife, Everlasting Gobstoppers, lucky rabbit foot, Horcrux...the normal stuff people carry with them.
I'm demolishing this box of sugary happiness while I'm washing dishes and it just hits me. The most profound question of the century. Do you want to know what it was? Once you hear this, you can't un-hear it. The life that you once knew will be shattered into a thousand pieces. It would be like taking the blue pill and waking up to the Matrix. You will lose hours of sleep over this. Sanity will start to slip under the weight of it all. Be ready to have friends and family abandon you. To live under a bridge in a cardboard box (with wi-fi of course, how else would I be posting this?) in monk-like devotion to understanding the profoundness of this query.
If these are Everlasting Gobstoppers...candies that last forever by the very nature of their name, candies that can only be finished when existence of all that ever has been created is on the very brink of being over...then does that mean that the world will end when I finish the box of Gobstoppers?
That's scary as crap. I literally have the fate of the world in a cardboard box in one of my nine cargo pockets on the pants that I wear to work every day. If I finish the box, if I eat the last Gobstopper, will the world end? It has to, right? By the very nature of the name of the candy..."everlasting"...the only conclusion to come to is that once the last one is eaten, then that's it. The end of the world. You can't have the existence of anything when there are no more everlasting gobstoppers. They last forever, so if they are finished, then you've reached forever...there's nothing more, that's it.
Chew on that for a while.
 |
| Yup...this is what crazy looks like. |
If these are Everlasting Gobstoppers...candies that last forever by the very nature of their name, candies that can only be finished when existence of all that ever has been created is on the very brink of being over...then does that mean that the world will end when I finish the box of Gobstoppers?
That's scary as crap. I literally have the fate of the world in a cardboard box in one of my nine cargo pockets on the pants that I wear to work every day. If I finish the box, if I eat the last Gobstopper, will the world end? It has to, right? By the very nature of the name of the candy..."everlasting"...the only conclusion to come to is that once the last one is eaten, then that's it. The end of the world. You can't have the existence of anything when there are no more everlasting gobstoppers. They last forever, so if they are finished, then you've reached forever...there's nothing more, that's it.
Chew on that for a while.
Also you can fit many Chick-fil-A sandwiches in your pockets. Very handy!
ReplyDelete